6 Causes of Tongue Protrusion
I can get through about minutes of each workout and am huffing and puffing, but I am pushing that play button every day! It helps with mental disorders and more. It affords privacy for them, and less of a mess for me. I have been a wreck for the past 2 months. I stopped drinking caffeine, stopped eating sugar, and have changed the way I eat. I believe we can start from home using free sites, and with strength in numbers, it will make an impact.
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I always love looking at caveman skulls. I mean, just look at their teeth. Weston Price described in his writings. The wider palate allowed for plenty of room for all the teeth, including the wisdom teeth, with no crowding.
I also enjoyed looking at the exhibits of indigenous peoples. It's amazing how straight and beautiful their teeth were. Their teeth are naturally straight.
They didn't have dentists or orthodontists. They didn't wear braces. Doesn't this make you wonder why we modern people have such crooked teeth?
I looked at many other exhibits of indigenous peoples — from the native Americans to the Polynesians. The exhibits had all kinds of household items, from spoons to cups to pipes and combs. Not once did I see a toothbrush. Not once did I see any kind of dental equipment like headgear or braces or palate adjusters. Doesn't this make people question?
I guess maybe archeologists aren't dentists, so they're not thinking about people's teeth. Price was a dentist in the early 20th century in Cleveland, Ohio. As he saw more and more kids coming in with crooked teeth and cavities, he wondered why it was happening. Which is what set him on his quest to study indigenous peoples. The groups he studied ate very different diets, but they all ate large quantities of these fat soluble vitamins.
Ten times the amount eaten by people in the s and '30s. And people in the '20s and '30s ate a lot more butter, lard, eggs, and whole milk than we do today. If you haven't yet, check out Dr. Nutrition and Physical Degeneration. You can read the whole thing online. Just looking at the photos will blow your mind. It's amazing to see portraits of all these different cultures, all with perfectly beautiful straight teeth.
The good news is, according to a wealth of data out there including Dr. Price's book , crooked teeth are not irreversible. Nor are they caused by bottle feeding or pacifiers. Price Foundation, reported in the organization's current quarterly journal Fall, that an in informal survey of Weston A. Price Foundation members with adopted babies who were raised on bottles of homemade formula made from raw milk see the recipe here , 6 out of 7 of those kids ended up with naturally straight teeth.
I wish more people out there knew about this. Think of the money people would save on braces! Which is why I can't stop thinking about it and am compelled to keep writing about it. If you're new to this information, and you find it interesting, check out Dr. Price's book and visit the Weston A. Price Foundation website to learn more.
If you're not new to this information, share this post with someone who is. You never know how powerfully you will impact someone else's life by reaching out. I know how much healthier my daughter will be, and how much healthier her children will be, and you can't put a price on that. I'm eternally grateful to my Uncle Roy for sending me the link to the Weston A. Price Foundation when my daughter was 4 months old. And I'm equally grateful to Dr. Weston Price, Sally Fallon Morell, and everyone who works to get this information out there.
Another wonderful article on the wondrous results of traditional eating! Thanks for sharing the pics, too: I had my wisdom teeth out in The dentist told me that my mouth was too small for my wisdoms. He then began to tell me that diet was the reason so many ppl have issues with their teeth. I have worn glasses since the age of 8 and probably needed them before then. I had to have all kinds of teeth removed so that I would have room in my mouth for teeth.
I also had to have my wisdom teeth removed at age 18 because there was no room for them and it was extremely painful — they were also in the bone. She says that around the time of the first Agricultural Revolution, 10, years ago, when people started cultivating and eating grains, health problems resulted. Among these were oral and dental problems and tooth decay.
I would love to read your stuff I have had thyroid Dease since 9 , now I'm Liz or Ann Marie or anyone else , when you sprout grains, do they become more like a vegetable? Do sprounted grains still cause the same problems as unsprouted grains?
And what about legumes? For the first time in several months I made a spaghetti dinner. I used to think this was a healthy meal but now considered it junk food. I only discovered the Weston A. Thanks for the link. Great post, Ann Marie! Just from looking at the title, I knew it was going to be about Weston Price! Everyone who eats should read it! By 3 children should be talking in 4 and 5 word sentences consistently. You want him as ready as he can be for kindergarten in a couple of years.
Check with your local public school district for an evaluation. I have decided to get Jakob referred to a private SLP and have him re-evaluated, and I want to talk to the Therapist and see if she will treat him like he DOES have apraxia, even though he has not been diagnosed. I know because I used to teach that kids do different things for different people, especially when that different person is NOT his mom. Could this be the case with this SLP and Jakob?
If so, how long do we keep doing the traditional methods before I press her to try something else, more focused? Could this be harmful to Jakob? He is in fact very adept at many other aspects of development. I am a 21 year old male.
I have difficulty producing any words in a logical sentence and even writing logically. No words really come to my head.
I was an only child and had everything done for me spoilt in a sense so now I walk around everyday staring at what is around me and not knowing where to go or what to do. I am extremely absent minded and have a hard time observing what is around me. If your child is experiencing any speech problems I would get onto it straight away or else you will risk having him end up like me.
Please do it for the benefit of your children. Thomas — Thanks for your comment, and I hope things improve for you. There are many, many techniques you can use to help you recall words and target improved written language.
Ask your physician or search for community-based programs like Vocational Rehab who can refer you for continued treatment. If you need more specific ideas, email me back at Laura teachmetotalk. Good luck to you! He has lots of problems pronoucing words. Most of the time we can figure out what he is saying and sometimes we cant.
He even gets frustrated when we cant understand. He is extremly smart and understands anything you ask of him. Older brother and sister did most of the talking for him when he was younger which might be most of the problem. He started daycare at age 3 to be around kids his age and has had lots of improvement. Should we be concerned??
Thanks for any thoughts. Jonathan — Let me wholeheartedly recommend speech therapy for you again. However, YOU are his parents, not me, and I certainly respect your right to parent him as you wish. I just wanted to offer this little word of advice, which is likely much easier for you to read from me than it would be for your next SLP to tell you in person.
It may not help you fix everything, but it would likely be better than nothing. We have a 19 month old son born 5 weeks early , he does not consistently say or repeat any words. We live in the States, I speak my native Australian English to him and my wife speaks her native Finnish to him. I see him in the evening and weekends, my wife is at home with him full time. He is not in any daycare and has limited interaction with other children or adults. He understand questions in both languages, if we ask him in either language if he wants milk he runs to the fridge waiting for milk, if we ask for the ball or favorite toy he will get the ball or toy.
When he wants something like water her will just reach out and whine to get our attention, before giving it to him we try to encourage him to say water but he just get frustrated. Also when we try and get up close and personal to get him to repeat a word he gets very frustrated. On his own accord he mimics actions like hugging, kissing or being on the phone, however he does not respond to mimic actions under encouragement like waving hi or goodbye.
He is not good with identifying putting shapes in the correct location in simple puzzles, he is unable to identify the difference between colors or shapes when asked which is blue or which is square. He has been developmentally slower across most things like walking and has reached most things with a little extra time. Justin — Thanks for your comment. But that being said, his receptive language is moving along, and research tells us that children who live in bilingual homes do speak later than those growing up hearing only one language.
In the meantime, read the articles here on the website for ideas. You can also check out my DVD Teach Me To Talk with easy to implement strategies that you and your wife can use to work with him at home. Sometimes SEEING someone else implement the recommendations makes it easier for you to do those things with your own child. Hi my 38 month old has maybe a — word knowledge.
Often her words come out wrong. If you talk loud you might get her attention. If you get down to her level and make her make eye contact the results are a lot better. Now how many 2 year olds can clearly say backpack?!! She just started running and loves it!
However she does trip often while running and walking. She does really well. She does not like to perform for people. She does have a bad gag reflex and is still glued to the pacifier. She rarely makes eye contact with anyone on her own. Sometimes i worry she could have a touch of autism or md. What is your advice on this? One thing everyone agrees with is that something is wrong. Have you had her formally evaluated by a private SLP or your local public school system?
Keep knocking on doors until you find someone who will see her for therapy and teach you things you can do with her at home to move her skills along. Thanks for your questions! I stay home with her and read to her, play with her, etc. I have watched your clips and they have taught me how to be a little more expressive, but for the most part I feel like I do those things, but she is still not said any words.
I have talked to the Early Intervention Program and they are coming out to do an Eval her this week, but told me that she is too young to have SLP. Faith — She is very, very young. Read the ideas here on the site and work to include those in your play. My son is 17 months old. But when we ask him to go find a cup, bottle, his brother, mommy, daddy, ect ect he will do these tasks.
My wife and I read to him everyday. Sean — By 18 months old he should have a minimum of about 15 words he says on his own.
There are many things you can do with him at home to work on language. Keep reading here on the website for ideas in the expressive language section. Thanks for the question! My daughter is 2y and she is not talking. Her vocabulary consists of 10 words; she does not follow comands either. EI evaluated her and did not qualify based on the overall score since socially, motor skills etc…she is well within the limits; however, her vocabulary is not improving, she does not point to obj.
She watched a lot of tv when little and we are a bilingual family. I stopped speaking my native language and we are speaking english only now.
Sometimes i think she does not want to talk, other times i think she does not understand language. The only words she uses daily and in context are mama, come,up, hi, baby and no but she knows also nose, wow, tickle, mouth, eyes, oh oh. I insisted in a re-evaluation and now it seems that she will get some help throught ESD. I live in a little town with only speech therapist available.
I also wonder if i should just speak engligh to my 8m baby boy. Erika — When toddlers are having a difficult time understanding language, I do recommend that parents stick to one primary language. Kate and I are going to talk about this at length on our show next week, so tune in for that disucssion. I am very,very glad you had her re-evaluated since she does sound like she needs the help. Good luck with her! Hi well my story would start with one of my twin boys who is aged is basically 3 years and 3 months old, We have been to many doctors and all is said he is a late bloomer but i will tend to disagree.
Any thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated. I am kind of leaning towards Apraxia, thank you. Has he a speech-language eval? It sounds like you might be outside the USA, and this might be more difficult for you. You can find info about starting that by reading articles in the sign language section. Let me know if you have any specific questions. Otherwise — keep reading! I am waiting patiently for your DVDs to arrive and am listening closely to your shows. Thank you so much.
I am trying but I really want to watch your DVDs. My little guy has just turned 17 months. I am like rushing to meet the 18 month deadline. He says juice, fish and cheese of an on but not often and can go for days without saying any of the above even though we prompt constantly.
Other words I think he may have said are like ma ma ma, ball, bye bye but I almost have heard him said that in a long while.
The funny thing is that he can mimic animal sounds like dog, elephant, bird, duck. He will do it every time we say an animal sound without a problem. I am almost sure his receptive language is ok as I have said to him things with no visual cues and he understands and loves music and nursery rhymes and will do the twinkle twinkle or insy winsy spider or wheels on the bus.
Is there something to be worried. I see you mentioning that 15 to 21 months old is when toddlers start stringing 2 words and he is just working on getting one word out. Do you think I should be alarmed? What can I do to make him speak more often. It is just sometimes discouraging working with him for a long time and not get any new word.
Please tell me what I should do and if there is something I should be concern about? Sherry — The DVDs will answer lots of these questions and show you exactly how to target language during play. In oru experience over the last 2 years, international orders have sometimes taken up to 4 weeks to arrive in Asia. Today Johnny sent you an email to talk with you about this further. I so appreciate your concern about your little boy, and I love to work with go-getter moms like you!
Watch the DVDs and focus on being really, really playful, connecting with him, and having fun. Have you looked at this section of the website? I wish I could give you a hug to reassure you!
Watch the DVDs and then get back to me if you need more help! I have a 20 month old born at 36weeks…he says about 8 words but rarely spontaneously…I usually have to say can you say..
He understands everything we say.. What is your thoughts? I tried your playfulness approach and he has added words in one day. I hope you can give some advice thanks in advance. That has been my problem he will say them once and rarley again. Maybe I am putting to much pressure on him. You can listen live from here on the website, or better yet, call in and discuss it with us yourself.
The call in is Thank you Laura for anwsering my question on air. I appreciate you clarifying that spontaneous words are what counts…that has helped a lot in being clear of what to say to the doc.
He was saying approx. I was wondering while I wait for the referral and use your wonderful tips and techniques if I can ask…. What qualifies as a word that we count per se….. How often do they have to say the word to be considered using the word. The other question is My son has added several words from utilizing your techniques around words words used more often, 35 words that he has used more than once… my question he seems to have trouble with oo words….
Mooo is mmmm and oops is Ops…etc… Is this something he will correct over time or should I work on getting him to say oo properly. Thanks again for having videos and a website that helps this first time mom make sense of the langauge development goals.
He is 21 months. My child is 33 months old. He has yet to put two words together other than uh-oh. He will often babble ma ma ma ma ma or say da da. We currently meet with a speech therapist once a week, but he seems totally uninterested.
He will not even try to immitate simple words but is very good at following directions. He knows the names of things and is able to identify them when ask. At times he can immitate animal sounds when ask. Doctors have tested his hearing more than once and say it is fine. I have a son who is 7 years old, he has downsyndrome. He has had speech therapy since he was born. He has had tubes put in his ears 4 times and the have done hearing test on him and say he can hear.
If anyone has any advice for me on what I can do to try and get my son to even say mama or anything please help me. I just want to hear my son talk! Christie — How is his language comprehension? Is he signing or using some other alternative communication system?
Does he vocalize at all? Does he try to imitate words? What does his SLP say? You can still use the strategies here on the website for him. Even older children who are still functioning at a younger developmental level will benefit from these strategies in both the receptive and expressive language categories.
Take a look at those articles for ideas. I have a 15 month old boy who is playful, interactive, outgoing, and babbles almost constantly. I, however, am worried about the number of spontaneous words that he uses, and uses correctly. He says Mama, Dada, GiGi grandma , no, and uhoh pretty regularly and seems to know what the mean especially no.
He says other words here and there and will sometimes say things for a couple days and then we never hear it again. He has said bye bye once or twice but not consistently. He has been a late bloomer in some other aspects crawling at 9 months, walking at 13 months but has always fell into the normal category.
He plays purposefully throwing balls and rolling cars, it is just the speech I worry about. Should I look into speech therapy now, or wait until the 18 month mark? Melissa — Thanks for your question. How are you working with him to learn new words? Are you consistently and purposefully modeling single words so that he can learn to consistently imitate you?
Have you introduced any signs? Is he pointing to any body parts and identifying any objects — Go get your ball, Bring me the book, Where are your shoes? Have you tried any signs with him? By 18 months the minimum of words he should say spontaneously is 15, so shoot for that. Kid 1 — My son is He was a preemie and is He babbles ALL the time but has few real words.
At this point, could his lack of expressive language be due to him being a preemie? He knows 6 signs and is attempting more. Kid 2 — We are adopting a little boy who has down syndrome. He will be 4 in April.
Is there any advice you have for me to help facilitate his speech development before we come home? Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you! Kid 1 — We correct for prematurity until a child has his second birthday.
Keep reading ideas here on the website for ways to work with him at home. Take a look at my DVDs for more specific ways to play with him to target language. I have a question. My son has a considerable speech delay but i dont know whether its apraxia or any other disorder.
Can you suggest me? I have a son who is 2. AS of now he dont have speech. He says papa, mama baba but not always. He loves to be cuddled by me and my husband. We are working with speech therapist from last one month but not much improvement in speech.
Therapist says he has few traits of autism like hyperactive, aggresive at times, tactile to socks and shoes, poor response. BUt he says cant say autism till 5 years. His eye contact has improved with therapy. But he tends to ignore most of people other than us. But i have seen him seeing other children from distance and seems scared to mix up with them or ignores them and play alone. He loves to see songs on tv, hear rhymes, see himself in mirror, loves to see books for good 30 mins, use crayons well.
He is aware of his safety well and gets scared from some horrible cartoon or any violent scenes in songs. He undersatnds our gestures if we gets angry at him or we laugh or smile. He tells his needs by taking me and pointing my hand to what he want.
He sometimes do lining of objects, otherwise do puzzles of his age very well, play with his toys well.
I am totally confused why his speech is not coming although he keeps talking meaningless most of times. Sometimes he repeats words phrases behind us but on rare occasion. I keep on telling him nose eyes by pointing or making funny sounds from nose.
Can you help me what can i do to help my child? I am desperately waiting for your reply. I want to add few things. My son used to do head banging when he was 1 and half but then he left it by age of 2. He is an active child. He keeps on moving his body even when he is relaxing on bed but i guess how much of restlessness is normal in toddler. We are moving to Singapore soon. I will be looking for new school and therapist there. I tried showing him famils pics but even if he pays little attention to that he never tries to repeat if i m saying nani,nana or dada grandparents in our native language I saw him practicing words times only in front of mirror or when he is alone.
I have searched a lot about different disorders but i dont know exactly in which his problem falls. What should i do as parents to help him and i badly want my son to develop his communication, social interaction, speech like most of his kids do. Doesnt mean i expect him to say all genius things but atleast he can express himself, his needs,address his parents and common objects correctly. What kinds of things does your SLP recommend that you work on at home with him? One month is not very long to be in therapy and measure progress.
Focusing on helping him connect with you and learning to understand your words are the first steps in helping him learn to communicate. Those will give you more ideas as you work with him at home in addition to what your SLP recommends.
Are you in the US? Another recommendation would be working with an occupational therapist in addition to his SLP since he does seem to have some sensory processing differences as well. I am really grateful for your reply. Actually we are in India. We consulted one occupational therapist here who diagnosed him with ADHD with tactile. He said it could be diagnosed as mild autism but at this stage we cant say.
My son used to get very cranky there. I tried in sessions but I found out Occupational therapist was not much proficient enough with his techniques to treat. So i switched to SLP. He said its speech delay with hyperactivity and slow response. He said try to make him repeat vowel sounds, and combine 2 words like papa come by looking into his eyes and showing him family photos to make him recognize his grandparents who dont live with us.
We are soon moving to singapore so will be consulting therapist there. Will he be able to recover with speech and sensory issues with proper occupational therapy. I really value your opinion. I am totally confused what exactly is his disorder. When will he recover? Will he be able to attend normal playschools and develop speech normally. His attention and eye contact improved considerably with sessions of therapy. He completes his activities like making bead necklace, board puzzles.
Loves to color with crayons, can open lids of any jar, stacking tower. One more thing are these disorders anyway related to MMR vaccination. My daughter just turned 3 years old at the end of January and for a while I have been wondering if she is behind in her speech. I have noticed friends of mine that have similar children her age seem to speak clearer than she can. We did just enroll her in a dance program so she would have regular interaction with other children but I still am concerned it may be something else.
I read about receptive language disorder and I felt like everything hit the nail on the head with my daughter. I was wondering if this would apply to a 3 year old? She does say some sentences and puts words together but then other times she jumbles a few of her words in her sentences but we can figure out what she means by picking out the other words. I do plan to talk to her Dr. My son is four years old and has still not said a single word even Mama. Does anyone have any thoughts about this or know who I could call for help.
My 27 month old boy does not talk as much as he should for his age. The few words that he say will not be complete words.
For example our dog name is Dino. He calls him Dio. Instead of mommy he says magie. Daddy he says Daee. On the other hand he takes my iPhone and can easily operate it as an adult.
I have him schedule for next month with a speech therapist. What can I do to help the meantime. This is very frustrating for me. Since I see other kids his age are so much advanced in speech than he is. The SLP can help you sort all of these things out. Good luck with him, and let us know how the eval goes! Hi Laura could u please help me. All he does is talk baby talk and sometime say mama…,and dada..
I went for his 18 months check up doctor refered him to go get his ear test but not until April. At the mean time wat can I do to help him talk? He is perfectly normal very active kid love to play with other kids. He makes car sound when he is playing with his toy cars and train sounds when playing with train. He understand some of the things u ask him to do like for example if u ask him to throw something in the garbage he will do it.
He will pull u to get wat he wants and copy wat u do like if u are dancing he will dance if u clap ur hand he will clap his hands etc.. Thank you very much. Lisa — This whole website is dedicated to helping you know how to work with your child at home. Read the articles here in the expressive language section.
When he wants something, he just points and grunts. He seems to understand everything and points to his eyes, ears, etc. Is there something developmentally wrong with him?
Have you spoken to his parents about this? All states have an early intervention program where his communication skills language can be evaluated for free, but parents must make the referral. Many grandmothers have emailed me to say that watching this helped them teach their grandchildren to use more words, particularly if they see the child often.
You can also read through the articles here on the website for specific ideas to use with him. Try reading articles in the expressive language category first. You can find the categories on the top of the page in the yellow menu bar. I hope everything works out for all of you! He will grunt and point. He understands what you tell him. My niece has had his earing checked and all is well.
There are no speech delayed issues in the family. Leigh — You are right. His mom should be very concerned about him, BUT I know from first hand experience how difficult it is to talk with someone in your family about language delays and other developmental issues.
Good luck to you all! Hi My son chase just turned 2 in Nov, so hes bout 28months.. We have been with Early On for almost a year now. Our doctor said for us to enroll since chase was not talking. We have even been to the hospitals developmental clinic. I get no answers for why my son dont talk or even possable reasons he may not.
Just random sounds really. And he does say Mama, Bye bye, hi, and thanks you. But those are recent and even sound off.. Kinda like he is not anunceating like caveman speak.
But i really find them NO help at all. They seem to just come and play with him, then help. And chase just dont seem into it. He dont seem to care at all. Chase does let you know what he want by pointing and making noise. And he does alot on his own. Infact his motor skill are VERY high.. I can barely keep his attention and the tantrums get worse with age.. I just dont know what to do??? It could be that they are reluctant to formally diagnose him yet. If they are working to establish a social connection with him, and it sounds to me like that might be the primary goal right now, it will look a lot like play.
I have just found this page and hope you can help. I have a five year old grandson who can say only five words. At the age of eight months, he had met all of his milestones, he crawled, stood, rolled over and walked by age eight months.
He had acid reflux for about seven months before he was put on medication. He never babbled or made any sounds other than crying.
He went to speech therapy for a year with no results. He had home training for about four months, with the result of being able to say up, stop, hep help , and no. He has been in pre-school for two years and his teacher is a speech therapist. He gets along well with kids, loves puzzles, painting, riding all types of vehicles, such as razor scooter, bicycle, battery operated cars.
He can bat and kick balls, anything a normal boy his age can do and better than a lot. He understands commands, can put on his clothes and shoes. Sometimes, he just stares into space for several seconds and I think he may be having a seizure.
He also is not potty trained but will urinate in the toilet if you take him there. If I try to get him to say words, he will stop looking at me and refuse to look up. I guess he has heard the same thing for so many years. You are certainly not alone in your struggles. If instead you would like to share the joys of international marriage, head over to our post 10 Reasons Why You Should Marry a Foreigner Like I Did and tell us all about it!
Good or bad — international marriage is one of a kind! This website is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a replacement or substitute for any professional financial, medical, legal, or other advice.
I have to readjust to my country which has enourmously changed in 9 years, find a job and live with my parents. Good luck to everyone with international marriages. I think apart from all these enlisted problems, it can be really rewarding and interesting — but everyone needs to be veeeery aware of these difficulties before entering. Not to be nosy but I suspect you were married to an Arab guy.
And it is a good thing because I would have killed the bastard! I hate any male that even raises his voice at a woman let alone hurts one! Hi, good luck with your relationship.
Sorry if I am late to post my comment. I was actually searching for something else and I read 10 reasons why not to marry …… and I had to answer or least give my opinion! First , I am American and my wife is Japanese. We have been married for 16 years next month is our anniversary: True love only comes around once and if your lucky twice. We fell in love at first sight! It opens your mind well at least mine to being open minded and not carrying about what the world thinks of us: We have the most wonderful time when we do visit our family.
Our world is as small as we let it! Your kids will be more understanding to others and less racist! We are all humans: And as my book reads a flower in the city which is about this very same topic. When you ask God for someone to Love as I did I was thinking of a beautiful person within my race but God gave me what I asked for and what he thought so needed and the same goes for you all.
Marriage is for the devoted and strong and the ones who found that special someone to share life with and love no matter the circumstances! Those years passed by so fast with us.
I also taught my son about Japanese history so when someone calls him mixed he will explain what he is mixed with including the different races that The Japanese people of today are mixed with lol! Cheers to all who marries out of Love! What a wonderful post. I too asked God to send someone but he was not from America. I love him dearly. May God bless you and your wonderful family. Your viewpoint on the international marriages is profoundness.
Yes with the love and respect between both of you is more important. The children are attractive. The Asian cultures have more disciplined on the children of learning and to become sussessful. I married to my husband who is an U S citizen. We had a lot deferent appinions but the end of the day we try to take what ever it is right and common sense. My son had a good job and married to a wonderful American girl. She is a school teacher.
On another hand, because we live in the U S my son is toltaly Americanize. Tx for sharing your story Judit! He speaks good English but communication is a challenge for us. His way of communicating is saying work was good, family is and is all good.
He then called and nothing changed. He thinks because he is my husband he deserves everything and has to earn nothing. I feel like he puts zero effort in making this work. Marrying a foreigner is no joke and I wish I would have been more careful when I made my decision. All I can say is every person, and every marriage is different. If someone is considering that just think hard before you your decision and what is happening to me and my husband will no necessarily happen to you.
International Marriage is a tough one, and I agree with most of your list. I think European marriage is slightly easier and less costly to visit your family at least! So the kids are extremely lucky to have both sets of grandparents only a short drive away. I absolutely agree with you, Michelle. My best friend married foreigner too and she has exactly the same problems. All of these are very on point!! I am from the U. Luckily we live right across the street from my mother we can wave to each other from our own houses!!
I am happy that you are so understanding to visit his family so often. God will definitely reward you for this. We are not going to be here for ever. So, keep it up. Your children will respect you for this. My husband and I have struggled for a long time. Loneliness is the most difficult element in the relationship. I am quite an independent person and can find my way quite easily — I built a life on my own — but no matter how much I invest, a part of me will never be accepted, not even in my own home.
Having said all of this, looking back I would probably do it again … all of the points listed are very well known to me … the funny part is that I ended up with a job at the university working with foreign students who share the points on the list even though not married. Having my own personal experiences has made me an ideal person for my position.
Being an international couple living in a third country Iceland , I totally relate with these challenges. I make it a habit to have a yearly compilation of the best videos and pictures of our 4-year old child so that our families and friends are at least up to date even from afar.
All these challenges make it very entertaining to raise our multilingual child and be a multicultural family. If there is any way I can contact you through email I would like to ask you question about how you make it work especially, the fact that you and your husband speak different languages. If you read this and reply back to me I will greatly appreciate it! We are also a family of two foreigners living in a third country.
But the language issue is definitely something to think about, especially when it comes to any future children. Both my husband and I have languages that are different from the majority language where we live. In the long term? In the very beginning?
Cultural differences can be hard to navigate at first. Our first year together was all about compromise and figuring stuff out — like me convincing him that walking alone did NOT mean that I was going to get kidnapped. Absolutely yes yes yes…great post and very true. We also have those problems as a multicultural marriage he is Pakistani,I am Polish but still manage to be a happy one.
I always say that if other people had to work through the types of questions my husband and I had no choice but to work through before they ever got to their first date much less their first wedding anniversary, there would be a lot more solid marriages around. There is nothing like a discussion of potentially grilling out fajitas instead of doing a turkey for Thanksgiving, or potentially missing a World Cup quarterfinal match in favor of sleep, to reveal your vulnerabilites and convince you to trust, listen and compromise.
It can be a wild ride. But I say all this as someone whose first spouse was from the same background as myself. My current happy husband and I figured out from the first five minutes how to have a meaningful conversation when neither one of us was quite altogether speaking the same language as the other, identify what was vitally important each to the other, and come up together with what to do.
How many people are married thirty years to someone feeling like the other person has never really listened to or understood them. This is most likely due to the fact that I came here as a college exchange student at 17 and never left. I have now been in the US longer than my native country so I essentially did all my adult growing up here and feel most comfortable here in the US. I actually feel like a foreigner in my native country. As far as family vacations go, it is very true but this applies to a lot of Americans as well.
I have 2 stepdaughters who moved to the East Coast when they were 8 and Until recently they are now in college we would go out and visit them several times a year as well or they would come to be with us.
I think that in a country as big as the US it is not uncommon for families to visit family during their time off. It certainly is the case for us for both US and European family.
In case of divorce it luckily would not be an issue with our daughter. It is very unlikely that I will ever move back to my native country. This again goes back to basically doing all of my growing up here and getting my education here and having all my retirement and assets here. My family really is not either. My sister could do it but I would not want to uproot my daughter to another country if something happened to us. Financially it would be a nightmare as well all the assets and inheritance that would be used to take care if her would be in the US.
I would not want to saddle my stepdaughters with the responsibility of raising a young child at this point in their lives. In a few more years they would be happy to take on that responsibility however. Had my in laws been a lot younger and us too: In the mean time we have to figure out which friend to ask about potential guardianship which is easier said than done.
I think there is a lot of truth to all the statements made here but I think there are also a lot of variables.
I started out living in th Netherlands, but found it very different to acclimate. In the beginning when I lived in the Netherlands, it was new and exciting. We decided to live apart, allowing me to build a foundation for us in the US, while worked on paying obligated debts.
He suppose to merge his life with me in the US. I love the food in the Netherlands than the US. I hate politics and patriotism of the US. The Euroeans are much more respectful of one needing the security of income.
If I continue the pain of missing my husband, that I would go back to him and just fully embrace the lifestyle. Am Ugandan aged 32 still single hoping for this marriage.
Even singles who once had their hearts placed find it difficult to settle if factors like you have derive them to distancing.
Biblically, there will never be straight life. Only keep a forward sight in everything. BOTH of us are foreigners. We both have extremely different backgrounds in culture, religion, food, family and even our Spanish! There is still something in our accents that makes things confusing or even frustrating at times…. However, we make it work and just learn from each other daily…or end up laughing… We have plans, we travel, we have goals. Knowing we are meant for each other is an added plus.
My family only speak spanish and her family only speak german, plus our friends who only speak english. Added is the fact that my family a large one! Finally, a post that talks about some of the challenging aspects of intercultural marriage! Thanks for writing this, Corey, and for initiating the conversation.
I agree with all your points on your list and, while I also agree that some same-culture couples also struggle, I do think it takes more work to navigate these issues in a mixed culture relationship.
You know, like listening to the Beach Boys in the car on a summer day. They will live a life of hell. My husband is the only child and besides his parents, has no family in the US.
Now I am pregnant with our 2nd child, leave in a different country with no friends or family around is difficult, I loved the post. All very good points. I am German and my husband is American and we live near Boston. I moved here 10 years ago and it still feels like I am the foreigner and he is at home. This sometimes leads to feelings of resentment, especially around the holidays when we spend time with his family and I miss out on my own personal experience.
The risks are higher and you start out with a whole additional package of potential problems. We are going to France For Christmas. We talk about marriage and I would love to Marry him.
If my future and I move to France, I will celebrate Thanksgiving, and bring new traditions with me. Reading your post made sad. But maybe the article was annoying to you because it speaks truth. No one is going to tell you not to marry a foreigner.
But just stating the facts. I am afraid that everything about this list is true. My ethnicity is Asian however am quiet assimilated to the Australian culture which is also a mix of various cultures. I have slept with numerous Australian guys but have dated an Austrian and now currently dating an Armenian. Even though we have some similarities — lack of faith, music tastes, all quiet geeky, our culture seems to be this continuous gap. With myself, even though I am Asian I consider myself more Australian and my Austrian, when we were dating, would have some stereotypes about me, for example he emailed me this news article link about what some country villagers did!!
I also dated an Australia who is a TCK Third Culture Kid and he would be jumping continents for work or for family reasons and during the times overseas would barely contact me because he was busy but when he and I are in the same country, he would have time.
But I honestly would rather have this than facing someone from a culture who has had a history past or current of thinking that they own the world! There really needs to be a support group for foreign marriages. Now I live in fear of divorce and losing my kids. But sadly, a point may come where I have no choice in the matter and while my kids really are my reason for living, I can never imagine trying to take them away from their mother.
If our marriage ends, I lose the 2 greatest things in my life…possibly having them move thousands of miles away with no way to have them in my life. You can seemingly do everything right and still run up against mental illness and depression that poisons the situation…or sometimes the love just dies no matter what you try.
That can happen in any relationship, but in an international marriage with kids, its most devastating. Its like feeling your heart cut out again and again. Its hard to describe the pain except that it is sickeningly painful. John, that is sad. Take a deep breath and forget divorce for a minute, no matter what your wife is saying. Now, she is suffering from depression — is she getting help? You are their dad and they need you regardless of what happens.
Now, I met a lovely Finnish man in Cambodia once — his first wife a Finn had a depressive breakdown and eventually they divorced. He then was working in Asia alot and met a Thai lady who moved to finland for him and experienced the snow! He was much happier with her. Make sure you get your support network together where you are — your own friends and keep exercising and eating good food and see a marriage counsellor if you need to.
Hi John I read your post and it made me feel very sad however I can so relate to your pain and what is happening for you at this time. I am also married to a foreigner and living in my husbands country of Canada also with our 2 children. I have struggled with the move and find the cold long winters extremely challenging. I am feeling more settled now I finally have permanent residence status and can finally work and be independent again. However I am often very sad and wonder if it is depression or just a deep longing for home.
My husband is very accommodating and tries to be supportive but its always challenging trying to be positive and to keep up happy appearances. He says he will go back to New Zealand with me although I know he is over living there and says there is nothing for him there and that he also feels like an outsider. I have started feeling resentment towards him for this whole situation — it is just so tricky and so painful to bear at times.
I would love to hear an update from you and see how things have progressed. I am at a transition right now where I need to make some big decisions of selling property at home and moving on and feel I just need clarity on what steps to take next. I hope you have had a happy outcome with your family and all is well in your world. I wonder how you are doing now? I feel very similar to what you write about.
My husband always wanted to come back to Canada so 2 years ago we moved here with our children. The only problem is that I long to be home with my family and friends and miss our life from Australia. These posts are ringing so true, my Canadian husband lived in London for 12 years and all our children were born here.
Then after he was always missing home I agreed to move to Toronto. The last 8 years have been such hard years.
Worst of all I trained as a teacher and all the Canadians are leaving for the UK. So now I am living alone in London for a year teaching while my husband is taking care of our 3 children. Here is home I love living here but all my children resisted moving back and my husband made it easy for them to stay. So my advice would be to very carefully consider moving, especially if you are older, I was I have never loved Canada and now as the kids get older I am more homesick than ever.
So I am going back in July and visiting every holiday but it is hard and my youngest is I see many differencies in culrure and idiosyncrasies, the way I can have a conversation with an English person is so different from here and actually Argentina, South America is so much alike Europe than North America.
What did you decide to do? My wife is german and im a kiwi. Pretty rough at times but for a happy life we need to state two things in our minds. We recently celebrated our one year anniversary. We are of two different nationality, culture and ethnicity. Sometimes I feel like I made the wrong choice and wish I had never married. To this day, the thought of divorce crosses my mind every few days. I just read your comment to a post about reasons to not marry a foreign and I could relate to you.
I am Brazilian Japanese, was born and raised in Brazil and my asian roots are very strong. I am in a long relationship with my Swedish boyfriend and i do think he is the one. My problem is that i went to visit his family in Sweden just recently. Here in Brazil I live in a traditional Okinawan neighborhood and so much close to the culture of my relatives hometown in Japan.
I missed this when i was in Sweden for 3 weeks. Not just being far from my family, but not having the community around and all the traditions, I felt very homesick and worried about my future if I move to Sweden. I was just wondering how is your relationship going with your foreign partner. How diffucult it is. If it is working or you really gave up. Corey and all the people who have posted comments have made some excellent points here. This situation led me to grow up in Puerto Rico, Denmark, and the United States during the first twenty-three years of my life.
I have witnessed every one of the ten points that Corey raises in the post except for 7 if it ever was an issue it was always kept from the kids. For instance, for my Danish father, Christmas always meant a quiet celebration with snow, rain, and candles in the window, so for him, Christmas in Puerto Rico — where it is hot and celebrations last a month and are rather noisy and loud — never truly felt the same.
For my mother, the taciturn and distant Scandinavian disposition was cold, impersonal, and unfriendly. Both of my parents came from tight-knit families, so constantly being far from one side of the family was difficult, and as a result I never formed close relationships with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins and to this day I still feel shy around them.
Nevertheless, I think certain elements can affect the success of an international marriage. For instance, upon moving to the United States, neither my father nor my mother had any relatives in the country, which was a departure from having previously lived in Puerto Rico and Denmark. I also believe that humility is very important, especially in learning the local language. For instance, my father was not afraid to look silly in stores in Puerto Rico, and if he could not communicate in Spanish, he would resort to sign language, funny faces, etc.
It generated laughs and blushes from me , but it worked for him. I also think that another key element is trying to maintain traditions from both sides of the family in the home, even in a modified form. International marriages also have important consequences for the children of such relationships. First and foremost, there can be strong identity issues.
For instance, my Puerto Rican family always viewed me as Danish, but the Danes swore that I was not truly one of them because fifty percent of me came from Latin America. The most interesting aspect is how each couple chooses to go about addressing these issues. I know what you mean by identity issues. I myself am a half German half Dutch that lived in The Netherlands all my live but because my German mother did all of my upbringing i felt like a stranger in the Dutch culture, even when the Dutch and German cultures are not that differand if you compare it to other cultures all over the world.
I did not know why i felt differand for a long time Also in my case the Dutch familie sayed i am German and the German familie feels that i am Dutch. I vowed to never do this to my children but… now i am married to an Ethiopian. I dont have children jet but i feel sorry for them if i think of having children even when i know that my husband will be an amazing father to them.
Not growing up with expanded familie can be hard to, expressly when you see that grandparents feel more comfortable around those grandchildren that they see the whole year. Ofcaurse they have a better bond with them but it still hurts sometimes. An other problem will be the languish of our children… I am used to use both German and Dutch at home because of that somethings are better told in one of the two.
And my husband ofcause wishes to be able to talk Amhairc with them but they will also need to learn Englisch. I have been thinking about choosing between German and Dutch but than i will not be able to express myself fully to them.
I think this post serves as an example that international marriages can produce well adjusted, thoughtful and intelligent children.
Thanks for the post. He came to the US for aviation school 2 years ago. Otherwise he has to move back to germany. Its very unlikely our familes will both attend our wedding because planes tickets are so expensive. However That is only one day in our life together. My sweet German sauerkraut took me to germany to meet his wonderful family and travel his country last summer and a surprise trip home with him for Christmas!
I like what the kiwi said we live a hard but intresting life. You could celebrate your marriage two times like i did. That is why we decided to celebrate in Ethiopia with his familie and friends and than again in Europa. Americans, at least those not from the larger and more multicultural cities, tend to be very provincial. With all the pressure for flag-waving church-going conformity, any American typically would like to watch the same sitcoms, eat the same fast food, and do the same things overall as every other American.
Why then do so many marry foreigners? Is it out of a suddenly-found cosmopolitan or inclusive attitude that pops up in enlightened individuals, or is the key element simple desperation? For more thoughts on this topic, check out… http: Me from Prague , my wife from Istanbul and our baby-girl living in Prague.
All points listed up there are truth. Even more complicated situations — so many questions, many of them can not be answered or solved. Many times I have asked myself, if this is really worth it.
After nine years of chess everything worked out. And after all we went through I feel like it is some joke. It is my brother, which lives just next door. He used to be kind of guy, which lived rebel life — drinking and plenty of different girls — some of them drunk been even knocking at our doors. Yet, he have suddenly changed, found himself some girl and after months she have got pregnant with him and now he would like to make big line behind his previous life.
He it is still that kind of way ignorant, though it is in somehow acceptable — noone is perfect. And that is where comes another problem, whenever I try to speak with my brother — there is problem, but if I try to speak to his girlfriend — there is fire on the roof. So I am speaking time to time once a month or so with them and keep Eye on my nephew — which will never really see his uncle. And this is some big heart-breaking issue, which I do not really know how to take care of.
I love my wife, yet I know she is very ignorant in some things. There is no middle way at this point. If we lived in some other country — it would have been probably more easy. Because of the baby-girl and economic part — this is almost impossible. So, when people say, that it is difficult to live in country of the other, it is not always truth. There is nothing worst, when you living next to your brother and you can not speak to him without direct argument wife your wife. Everytime this happends, i feel like to take my MTB and just go off cliff.
How many times I can stand this before I do something stupid? I do not know.. All I can say is, get over yourselves! No one is guaranteed a successful marriage.
Language issues can be cercone by working on it, for goodness sake! Thanksgiving we just make ou favorite foods and give thanks, which is the point. And you can find turkey in Germany, as well as people celebrating Thanksgiving American style. But I think you have been incredibly lucky with the man you happened to find.
Not everyone has such a straightforward ride, as many of these articles reveal. Yes, there are various reasons that we should not marry a foreigner. If you do this then you ahve to face lots of difficulties like tradition change, religion change, long distances from family members etc.
It is very difficult to understand a person that do not belongs to our caste, religion, country etc. Our children will also face lots of difficulties from this type of marriage. Thanks for sharing this post.
This is very true. He has helped me make our house a home, and I feel very comfortable and at home here. I do miss my family, but not so much my country, and we are planning on staying, and raising our daughter here in the Pacific Northwest.
Now divorced- too tough as we had properties in Ethiopia too. Thank God we did not have children. Due to my job Media had a chance to travel to many countries and I love and respect other cultures and fit in easily.
My ex never wanted to experiance other culture- which is unlike me. Never wanted to go out doors- only luxury semi luxury hotels. Me total rough traveler. Her family live in US and Africa.
How can poor me fit my life, visiting family mainly hers and living in london in good balance? I could not and was ended with regrets. Yes international marriage has big big challenges. The only reward I would say is the new friends I made during the marriage. I met him in Dubai he is PakistanI I am Turkish…we got married very difficult due to his parents not accepting me…now his parents want to have their own traditional wedding.
Hi isena, Sad to hear ur in such a difficult situation. I know a Turkish girl who want to marry a Pakistani, there is no difference in religion as they are both Muslim.
But what is the reason he is not giving baby? Are u living in Pakistan while ur family is in turkey? Thank you for the article.
I have 4 kids, my hubby travels internationally 30 to 40 percent each year, so I often feel like a single mom. We attend a church his parents started and attend, including his two sisters and their family. It has not been easy but my husband was the one for me. I wanted to do missions work, but not in this country and not with my in-laws, this is not what I thought. Looking back on these years, I can absolutely understand each point in your article, but each point I experienced with the help of my Best Friend.
I have a deeper appreciation for what Christ did for me, leaving his perfect, comfortable place, to live a life full of difficulty for me out of love. All be it, I have not been persecuted, I have felt like the outsider, even to my husband and his family while living in this country. But it gives an opportunity to be a light even more that I would have been in the good old USA.
The title to this article is a bit strong, but the points were right on the dot. Well, my husband is French and we do just fine. I was, however, with an Israeli guy for a few years before I met my husband and you wanna talk about cultural problems?! I lived with him in Israel and he and his family ran my entire life for me.
Yes, I think sometimes, it can be a bad thing!! Just gotta find the right and sane guy and all will be well!! Finally someone who has the courage the say these things out loud. I wish I had more sense and someone told me all this 4 years ago. We are now engaged, living in a third country where we met , and at cross roads where to go next.
I see no other way for me to be happy other than to move back home. The more we talk about it, the more it looks like we are parting ways. It is different to live in a country and to visit it. You get so confused that after a certain period of time spent abroad is almost impossible to ever feel hapiness,like the plain people that never went out of their country can. If you also had a relationship while abroad, forget it, is a certain heartbreak,or u loose your love or you loose your family.
Yes…I am completely homeless now.